What to Do With A Difficult Bridesmaid

A while ago we talked about Maidzillas (a difficult bridesmaid) and how to spot them, we’ve also covered how to choose your bridesmaids knowing how important a role they play not just on the wedding day but on the days leading up to it.

As a bride, you have to choose carefully your bridesmaids because the dynamics/vibe you have with those ladies is key to the success and the peacefulness of the wedding planning. Trust me, there would be a whole lotta things to fuss about, you would be better off with the right women standing by your side.


But what happens when you find yourself in that dreadful reality and come to the conclusion that you chose wrong and now have to deal with a difficult bridesmaid? As a bride dealing with an unhelpful or difficult bridesmaid, in most cases, you have three options;

1. Give it some time and Find out Why: Always start with some time and give her the benefit of the doubt. It is very possible she might be going through some baggage herself and needs some time to figure things out. While it is your wedding, find some time to still be a friend and sit her down for a talk.

Find out exactly what the issue is and see how both of you can meet yourselves half way.

2. Focus on the other helpful Bridesmaids and let it slide: If you are the kind who hates confrontation (or just do not have the time for sit-downs and shrink sessions) but thankfully, you have other more helpful/supportive bridesmaids, focus on them instead.

Do not spend your valuable time getting in your feelings about one bridesmaid who is slacking and slowing down your plans, but instead, find a way to get to work and make progress with the others who are ready and happy to step up. Perhaps when the Maidzilla is ready, she would come around, and even if she does not, just keep moving #shrugs.

3. Fire her: because you do not need that kind of negativity in your life! Seriously, if her unhelpfulness/difficulty bothers you so much or you actually find that it is slowing down your wedding planning journey and sucking the fun out of it, just let her go.

Find a way to do this in a respectful and mature way without being petty (even though it might be very tempting cause you are already in your feelings) and hope for the best in the future of that friendship.

Try to leave room open for restoration of the friendship by not making rash decisions such as, uninviting her to the wedding as a whole – you never know, her difficulty might just be a phase and there could still be hope for the relationship in the future.

About The Author

Wedding Blog Editor & Consultant

Gee || Jesus Lover || Wedding Blog Editor- KnotsVilla (Blog for theme-ful, Prop-ful, Color-ful & Culture-ful Weddings || Wedding Planning? I'd be the best e-friend you ever had!

One Response

  1. Suzanne

    I agree to focus on the other bridesmaids that actually do their part. I know a bride that “fired” her maid of honor a couple months before the wedding, and it was quite the ordeal.


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