Right now we’re on a serious time crunch! We have less than 2 months to the wedding, and I feel like we still have a lot of items on our checklist up in the air. One of the first things I did, right after getting engaged, was sign up on TheKnot.com. In my past experience with events planning, TheKnot was my go-to resource for making sure everything was done in a timely manner. In addition to that, we bought a Nigerian wedding planning book that includes the basic wedding planning tools, but also has stuff particular to the typical Nigerian wedding. With these 2 tools in hand, I would be on my way to Wedding Planning Bliss, right? WRONG! There’s absolutely no point in having a checklist, if you’re not actually going to use it.
For the first 2 months, I was excited about planning and the checklist, with my mum doing most of the legwork. Afterwards, my mum traveled out of the country and planning came to a virtual standstill. It’s weird because in the past, I’ve enjoyed planning events. With this wedding, I’I’ve felt quite crippled. I don’t know if it’s anxiety, or if it’s the environment. Nigeria isn’t for the soft-hearted. Things aren’t straightforward here, and wedding planners are usually recommended. We’ve decided to do the planning ourselves, so we’re finding out how stressful it can be.
For instance, we chose our venue a long time ago. The venue manager at different turns, has come up with different dates, changed the menu, changed the price, and other details along the way. I’ve threatened to find a new space, decided to stop speaking to the manager, etc, in retaliation. In this country, you have to be firm and put your foot down, or else vendors will run all over you. I’ve heard of vendors who change their prices simply because they heard you come from a rich family or lived abroad. I’ve heard of other vendors who scrapped your event, simply because someone else came along with more money. With vendors like these, planning can be a pain in the patootie! Now you see why I waited for my mum to come back, before resuming the wedding planning.
In the past 3 or 4 weeks since she got back, the planning has restarted in full swing. We had 3 months of minimal planning activity, so now we’re trying to catch up. As of right now, according to TheKnot, there are 44 days to the wedding, 117 To-Dos, of which 58 have been completed and 38 overdue. I don’t know how this makes me feel. On one hand, I’m happy that half of the checklist has been completed, but that means we still have halfway to go in just 6 weeks. Some of the incomplete items include Cakes getting his formal wear – at this point, I’m tired of begging him to get it done. He’s a big boy and he can handle himself, right?
We still don’t have a DJ. We barely have an MC. There’s a snag with our church pastors and premarital counseling. I’m not entirely sure about the décor, because every time we talk about it, I end up in tears or Cakes and I barely speaking to each other. Yes ladies, wedding planning is NOT always sweet and rosy. You have to make time to remember why you’re coming together. Last week, Cakes got very irritated because he was simply tired of “wedding this, wedding that, wedding when, where, what, etc” and just wanted to focus on us as a couple. I must admit, I probably went overboard with the planning, because even my mum told me to take a big chill pill. I’ve resolved to take a planning break once or twice a week, do what I can by myself, decide what’s important on the checklist and focus on only those items. At the end of the day, our marriage is more important than the wedding. So what if we use a mixed CD instead of a DJ?