Do people still get offended when they don’t get an invitation? Is that still a thing? Apparently, it is! As a bride, there is an unbelievable amount of pressure that comes with all the congratulatory messages once word gets out that you said “yes”, and as everyone can imagine, the guest list is a key part of it.
With all that pressure, there would be a lot of disappointment (which in many cases turns to resentment) when a hopeful friend or family realizes he/she was not invited to the. With today’s post we’d be talking about a few of the possible reasons why that happens.
The Reason You Were Not Invited To The Wedding
The major factors that play when it comes to deciding who makes a couple’s guest list are usually the cost and style/setting. With cost, you’d often hear a bride say something like “I’d invite everyone if I could afford it”. But as you already know, weddings are not cheap and a bride and groom have to very carefully decide their budget and then work within it.
With style/setting, this refers to those who believe in the intimacy of a wedding. They don’t necessarily see a wedding as a huge party but more of an intimate gathering where a super tight relationship with the couple is required in order to get an invitation. So here it’s really not about the budget, they truly just want to keep it small and intimate.
Now while these are the 2 major factors that determine the guest list of a wedding, under them are other “mini” reasons why an individual won’t get an invitation and these are the few we came up with:
1. She don’t like you like that: From frenemies to dramatic family members, to people who are just not aware the bride doesn’t consider them friends, the list goes on. While you may talk and exchange pleasantries, when it comes to the real deal, the bride just can’t stand you. And let’s be honest, if it were you, you’d do the same thing too and not send an invitation.
2. She don’t know you like that: These are mainly acquaintances, work colleagues, and the likes. What we call a surface relationship but nothing deep enough to bring you into one of her most memorable days ever. You may have mutual friends and have found yourselves in very similar circles but the real deal is you both are not directly connected.
3. You did not invite her to yours: Okay this can be a petty move but trust me when I say it’s not always the case of petty-fication. It might be a “she did not invite me to hers due to budget, so she’d understand because she’s been in my shoes” type of situation.
Or then again, she might just enjoy being Bridey and PETTY!
4. You are not drama proof: From past experiences, the bride must have noticed that somehow you’re always in the middle of one drama or the other. It could have been at previous events, family gatherings or other instances where somehow a peaceful event goes left because you just had to talk back, get defensive due to a comment or just be a loud mouth. Alcohol doesn’t even help the situation, so excuse her for wanting her wedding to be a drama-free gathering and let her be.
5. You almost made it – B list/budget problems: You were really almost invited, trust her, this was not an easy decision to make but her bank account made her chop you off. But hold on, you might actually still get an invitation 1 week to the wedding because an A-list guest suddenly couldn’t make it, don’t hold your breath though!
6. The invitation got lost in the mail: It’s not a cop-out excuse (okay let’s be honest, a lot of times it is, in fact, a cop-out excuse but let’s play along here), but mail really does get lost.
7. You demanded your kids come along: Not everyone can afford to pay for a guest plus X number of kids. A lot of times it’s just daddy and mommy. But at the same time the bride knows not every parent can find a sitter or wants a sitter with their child, so if you ever made this known to her (either directly or subtly), the bride kept it in mind and took you off the list. Enjoy your little munchkin as the bride enjoys saving some $$.
8. The case of the ex – her ex or her fiancé’s ex: This is an easy one, you’re an ex. Even though you still keep in touch with each other and don’t wish yourselves dead, there’s a place for that courteous relationship and it’s most certainly not the wedding. Send her or him a congratulatory message and keep it moving.
9. You’re broke: As obnoxious as it may sound, some people actually consider your financial standing when deciding if you’d make the list or not. I’ve heard a few times a bride say something along the lines of “he is very well to do financially so I’m sure he’d give us a good gift, put him on the list”, and so if you’re are not that financially well to do, that may dwindle your level of importance when considering her guest list.
10. You’re a very extended/distant family member: Lose the shocked face. Just because you are “family” doesn’t make you 100% proof against being chopped off the guest list. You are most likely just way too extended to care about like that (again, not that she wishes you dead but it’s more like it’s not a dire need to have you there). She’d see you at family gatherings over the holidays where you guys can catch up.
Though some of these points seem hurtful and cold, the important thing is to put yourself in the shoes of the couple and try to be happy for them no matter what. Life is too short to hold a grudge over an event that will only last a few hours..:D