After engaging with KnotsVilla’s awesome instagram followers last Wednesday about their proposals, we found out many of them were asked the question in front of family. So on Friday we resumed the #WeddingChatter tweet chat which focused more on the proposal, the ring and family involvement in the proposal. Obviously all these were more from the girl’s perspective as the men were to shy to join the chat 🙂
1. Intimate or Not?
Of course we had to ask about the proposal setting and which was preferred, Intimate or not. While this is not something people generally discuss prior to the proposal, many times it deals with the characters of both the girl and the guy. However we would focus on the girl here since in most cases she is the one being asked the question. A guy should ask himself questions like “Is she a crowd person?”, “Does she extremely hate anything relating to PDA?”, “Would asking her to marry you in front of family or random strangers freak her out, make her stammer or the likes?” All of these questions relate heavily on the type and character of the Bride-to-be and it is her man’s job to know if he intends to marry her.
However while some people maybe totally frightened by the crowd and all that PDA, it was noted that a proposal might have the power to blind out the crowd totally. So in that moment, that shy girl is literally not seeing anyone but the man of her dreams, the gorgeous ring and possibly a bright future together. At that moment, the people around just don’t matter/exist.
2. Ring Choice
So what if she doesn’t like the ring? Should it matter? Heck yeah! And I say this with the fact that a guy has to remember that his wife would most likely wear that ring on her hand for the rest of her life, she should at least like it and be comfortable in it. While some ladies really don’t mind the style of the ring (especially ladies who hardly wear jewelry or give it that extra thought), some ladies may be particular about things such as color (white, diamonds, gemstones), setting or cut.
So how can the guy figure all this out? It is all part of knowing his woman. If a guy are at the point where he is thinking marriage, there are a few things he would need to pay attention to concerning his future bride-to-be. Things such as, if she a jewelry lover, one who absolutely loves wearing her birth stone color or one who never wears rings at all. With these, a guy might be able to plan around what he has carefully noticed about his lady and her taste of her jewelry.
And there are the “straight up girls” who don’t mind being asked directly about their ring style or would even go ring shopping with him. But then again, a guy would have to know his girl enough to tell if she is one of those ladies because by assuming this and getting it wrong, he might be rubbing her of that highly expected “surprise” proposal some ladies dream about. Some of us still like the surprise.
Another way to find out more about a girl’s ring style without giving up the “surprise” would be making use of her close friends. Trust me, we girls talk about these things!
3. Asking Daddy First
What are your thoughts on a guy asking a girl’s father first? We had mixed feelings with this as some ladies totally objected because it somehow makes them feel like a “property”. However some ladies were all for this idea because they feel inclusion of family in that way shows some sort of respect. I am of the latter opinion, though that was not my case due to distance.
As a guy about to marry a girl, we think the relationship between the girl and her family members would be something the future-husband would have taken note of. Is she a Daddy’s girl? Is she very family oriented? Has she been brought up in a way that it is almost a rule that a man ask the father first? These are all things a guy should remember and consider before proceeding with that “will you marry me” question.
We pretty much learned and agreed COMMUNICATION is key; the center of a good proposal and a good relationship in general. In parts, here are the 3 major take-home pointers;
- Guys, know your girls enough to know the ring and proposal style she would love.
- Ladies don’t be stuck on the ring and proposal style, remember the sentiment.
- Asking her dad for her hand in marriage may/may not be great. Get to know/understand her relationship with her dad before proceeding.
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Join us for the next #WeddingChatter this Friday at 3 pm est. The topic would be all about The Guest List!