Being someone that is heavily in love with this wedding industry, I must admit I get to hear the funniest and craziest stories from all parties involved in a wedding. Recently I was e-hanging out (I promise I’m not a loser because I e-hang out with people) with some brides when one decided to vent about “cray cray” guests that continuously put them in awkward positions with questions regarding their invitations. It was in that discussion I thought of this post; How to be a great wedding guest, in better words, how NOT to be the guest the couple wished the mail man had lost the Invitation.
Photo from Jessica and Ryan’s Wedding
From these brides and from my experience I have come up with these; they may not be exhaustive so feel FREE to add yours in the comment section so we can all help guests be awesome!
1. RSVP: Yes, a number of us may be guilty of this – forgetting and leaving this task until the last minute, we can forgive ourselves for this. But honestly what I can not wrap my head around is that guest that assumes it’s not that serious. So they have the “Kini big deal?” (What’s the big deal) attitude about it. If a bride did not invite you by word of mouth, in other words, if she spent money to make/purchase an invite and mail it you, then I beg to differ, it’s a big deal! Set aside the point of money spent on invitations to money actually spent to host the guests. Many venues require headcounts and everything paid for before the wedding. So the rsvps are needed for the couple to make these “estimates” so they are not over paying paying for no shows. So that rsvp that a bride keeps “venting” about is pretty much a big deal.
The one that also gets me is when the rsvp process is so easy and yet no response – you are mailed an invite, with RSVP card that is already pre-stamped and all you have to do is fill it and drop it in the mail – how hard can that be? Then you call the bride and say “Yes I am coming to your wedding” and wonder why she blew up at you? Please humor her and rsvp the right way, it adds to the wedding experience when a bride receives those cards in her mail. Jenn explains better the excitement here in her Wedding Diaries.
Photo by Sophia Barrett Studios from Kristina and Michael’s Wedding
2. Dress appropriately: What is “appropriate”? You ask. Honestly these days that word is so relative that you have to actually check with the person who said it. While we can all agree on the relativity of the word I think dresses like the “whites” or “ball gowns” are generally reserved for the bride. Now this is not to say every bride would go ballistic if a guest showed up in white, but just to avoid the possibility of finding yourself in such a situation, I personally would advise against it.Secondly, we all would rather wear what we want to any event and may not appreciate if a bride restricts that in any way with “dress codes” but as long as the dress code doesn’t kill me, I’m all for “It’s her day, I’d let her be.” Now that is just me, you might feel strongly about someone putting restrictions on your dress style for their own wedding so if you do, there is another option; you can always stay home.For help with ideas for a Wedding, see A Wedding Look or visit Dress for the Wedding
Photo by Richard Bell Photography from Adam and Courtney’s Wedding
4. Attend the Ceremony: It’s a wedding quite alright but remember it’s more about the union of the two than the party after. If at all any part is the most important it would be the ceremony. The reception can be seen as a way to relax and have fun but also an opportunity for the couple to appreciate the guests that took time out to attend the wedding ceremony. Isn’t is the absolute worst when people show up for only the reception? Honestly I think it just comes off as “Hey I just came to enjoy free food, drinks and partayyy!”, very tacky if you ask me (did I just use the word tacky? I am tacky for that!)
I agree sometimes things happen and people can’t make both but keep in mind that it is hardly ever a good look to show up for just the reception.
Photo by Elizabeth Cayton from Sarah and Joe’s Wedding
5. The +1 issue: Some hosts are awesome enough to have everyone bring plus ones while some just can’t afford it. No guest should make the couple feel bad for not allowing +1’s, +2’s or the whole family. Be appreciative and at the same time understanding about it – still celebrate with them. There is nothing as annoying as a guest coming to a bride and asking what she should do with her children since the invite is for just her and her husband. Err, awkward much? Be nice, and figure that out yourself, not everyone can pay for your whole nuclear and extended family. Remember there is always the option to decline if it is absolutely-unbelievably-impossible to not show up with that plus one of yours.
Photo by Volkel Image from Cydney and Kiel’s Wedding
6. Take care of the things you can: The couple is mostly likely under pressure from planning a wedding, the last thing they need is an invited guest contacting them for obvious things they can handle themselves if they spent a little more time. This is to reiterate a phrase I mentioned above – do your homework. Read over the invitations or head over to the wedding website the couple created and view it properly; what you may need to contact them and ask about may just be there.An ideal website should have details as such in the photo above.
What other points can you think of? Let’s learn from each other; how can we strive to be awesome guests?