Happy new month friends! How is it that 2014 is racing so fast? How is it that Knotsvilla turns 2 tomorrow? Woah! Talk about speeding time! Well with time not really on our side, I have decided to spit this post once and for all; the secrets to being a Happy bride during wedding planning!
For some of you, this post title may not make sense because many believe once you are a bride, you are most likely always happy. Well, that may be true for some but definitely not all. Wedding planning comes with stress that makes the emotions of a girl move up and down very easily; today she is happy, tomorrow she wants it to all end and end NOW!
While different brides have different reasons for absolutely dreading the wedding planning process, all should agree that posts like this once in a while (bridal balance inspired), should help. Let’s take a pause from showing off beautiful real weddings, wedding inspiration posts, vendor highlights and really talk about how a bride can keep calm, be happy and enjoy the wedding planning process.
1. Step by Step: Take each day at a time. Set up a practical timeline that suits you best and work with it. You know your schedule best so even though many timelines exist of how long your wedding planning should take, after reviewing them, alter them to fit your own schedule. Take it step by step and try not to overwhelm yourself with wedding tasks and deadlines, just because some wedding “expert” said so.
2. Ask for Help: In the midst of planning and when the stress kicks in, it is okay to ask for help. While some of us may admit we love the super-woman after feeling, it is wise to detect when you can not do it alone and ask for help. There is family, the wedding party and friends; a pool of people you can trust to help when you need them.
3. Be Thankful: Above we stressed about asking for help, here we are stressing about saying thank you. This is a common gesture that goes a long way to those who go out of their way to help you; to show that you appreciate them. It doesn’t have to be big or elaborate; a simple thank you with words in person, over a phone, over coffee or a card is fine. Just have a heart of thankfulness and gratitude and express it to them.
4. Take a Break: Once in a while in that 6-12 months of wedding planning, take a break. Do not overwork yourself with those to-do lists. Set reasonable goals for wedding planning and in those goal-lists, add “break time”. Not just add the “break-time” but truly take that break; don’t think of the florist and how she hasn’t replied your email, stay off pinterest so you do not change your colors for the umpteenth time, just take a break to enjoy other things in life that are not wedding related.
5. Think outside yourself (help others): While we are on the “break” topic, how about we add “taking a break from yourself”? Many times there is joy in shifting focus from the “me, myself and I” mindset and thinking of others and how to make them happy. For starters, you can begin with your spouse to be, his groomsmen, your bridesmaids, family or you can take it far to even the total strangers you come across. The whole point is to be a joy giver at some point in planning and remember this quote “It is more blessed to give than to receive” – Acts 20:35
6. Positive & Supportive People: The kind of people you surround yourself with is also key. Negative people bring you down and positive people lift you up. With wedding planning and the stress, sometimes you may need to top up your positivity level and having the right people for that is very important. When choosing the people around you (bridesmaids, vendors), choose properly and for those who you don’t really “choose” (family), learn to allocate your time properly so you don’t drown in their negativity if that is the case.
7. Let go of Yesterday’s mess ups: So what if yesterday’s DIY projects went south? Move on! Okay, I know it is easier said than done but it has to be done anyway. Dwelling on yesterday’s struggles takes away strength to move on and conquer today’s tasks of your wedding planning. The only reason you should look back, is to learn what NOT to do. But the moment looking back becomes “dwelling”, then an avenue for stress has been created. So let go of the yesterday’s mess and do not let it bring you and keep you down.
8. Take Responsibility: Quit blaming every wrong outcome on others and actually take responsibility. When a mistake or bad decision is made during wedding planning, own up to it and avoid pointing fingers. A bridezilla is one who points all the fingers and soon enough loses the people around her. It’s a mature thing to be able to say to yourself once in a while “I made a bad move, I’d do better next time”.
9. Do it for you not for others: In other words, go with your gut. With wedding planning, usually ideas are being exchanged on what your wedding should look like. The wedding planner has her professional ideas, your 6 bridesmaids have their own 6 different ideas, and the parents are also stringing along with theirs. It is very easy to feel the idea clutter especially when these ideas are all over the place. In times like these, as a bride, go with your gut. Don’t plan your wedding based on others ideas but on yours and your groom. This is not to say ignore advice and help from others but run every decision by your vision and filter properly because really, it is your wedding.
10. No Comparison: Yes this might be the most common out there but it can never be said enough. With all the pool of gorgeous wedding photos flying over the internet day after day it can be pretty easy to unconsciously (or maybe consciously) get into the “competition” phase. Planning your wedding to be better than the last family wedding or your sorority sister’s wedding would bring you nothing but stress. The well known saying about comparison being the thief of Joy definitely holds true here. Remember that your wedding is not a competition but a celebration of your love, so focus on what it really is.
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This post was inspired by Michal who blogs at Bridal Balance which targets not the look of the wedding but the mind balance of brides. Michal’s blog is all about helping brides reduce stress, build confidence and enjoy the engagement.
Happy new month once again, be awesome this month of September!