4 Ways to Avoid Bridesmaids Drama During Planning

Happy new week to you, KnotsVilla’s most loyal readers! It is with much excitement I speak on this topic today; How to avoid Bridesmaids Drama during Wedding Planning. You see, weddings (and the journey to it) ought to be one of those loving and memorable events of one’s life where people could look back with a wide smile on their faces. But the reality is that not everyone’s journey goes that way. Unfortunately there are some really unpleasant memories and most of them are caused by conflicts.

Like I have said numerously, you can’t plan your wedding without people and when you think of the word “people” immediately you are thinking of relationships. These relationships range from that with your future spouse to family/in-laws, the wedding party, guests and vendors. The more they are the higher the possibility of conflicts – I think it’s human nature. So as humans, how do we avoid this? Can we entirely avoid all conflicts in life? I doubt, but we can certainly try.

Here are my top 4 points on what a bride can do to encourage a conflict-free wedding planning journey when it comes to her bridesmaids;


1. Include them in the Planning.

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that doing things together keeps people together – think of those popular phrases like A family that prays together stays together. As a bride, try your best to not make your bridesmaids to feel useless or unneeded during your planning. As a bridesmaids, part of the excitement is the anticipation of being there for the bride as well as having those awesome “just us girls” moments with her and the other bridesmaids – as a bridesmaid I know I really look forward to this.


All those budgeting projects, ideas exchange, wedding chat groups, group pinterest boards and DIY projects done by with your bridesmaids make room for the ladies to know and understand each other thereby fostering a conflict free wedding planning atmosphere. No matter how much of a control freak you are as a bride, try your best to include your bridesmaids and let them know they are needed.

PS: This point is not a reason to over burden them with tasks, be considerate as you include them.

2. Give them a Voice.

Now that we have talked about including them, nothing can be more aggravating than someone being “included” but having no say. Such situations are all about the Bride saying “Do this”, “Do that” without ever asking “What do you think of this?”. If your wedding planning is full of such situations or ones where every suggestion your bridesmaids bring up is turned down, it gets to a point where they are “there but not there”. By that I mean they are present for those meetings, dress fittings and other appointments but really don’t want to be there. At some point they would begin to see the whole wedding planning like a waste of their time and such attitude could translate into conflicts shortly.


With this point, a major area of giving your bridesmaids a voice would be in the dress choice. As a bride try your best to make your bridesmaids comfortable in the dresses they have to wear (they don’t have to be head over heels in love with it but they can be okay and comfortable with it). Being ladies, most of us are very particular about our looks and this is one key area that a bride should be careful and understanding with her bridesmaids. Some ways around this would be;

  1. Giving a color and asking them to pick their dress – for those that love the mismatched bridesmaids look.
  2. Asking them for any dress objections they may have before you make a choice.
  3. Sharing with them your possible choices and asking them for their thoughts.

Now this is not to say that in all cases you would be able to please each and every bridesmaids, but giving this a thought would certainly help in arriving at a choice with little or no conflicts.

3. Be a Friend. 

Dear bride, sometimes you need to take a break from being a bride and be a friend. With this point, my assumption is that the ladies you have picked to stand beside you are ladies you hold really dear to your heart. So before your future husband popped that question you must have had a pretty great friendship, great enough to include them in your wedding.


Now if that is the case, once in a while it is good to take off that bride-hat and put back the friend-hat. Try not to be talking only about your wedding when you call, text or email. Ask about their well-being, family, boyfriends, school, work and all the other things you all talked about before you got that shiny diamond on your finger. Your bridesmaids would love to know that you care about them personally not just in terms of your wedding.

4. Show some Appreciation. 

As usual, I end with showing appreciation to those involved in your wedding planning journey. Let’s be frank, planning weddings are mostly very time consuming and could go on for a lengthy period of time. As a bride it is wonderful to say thank you to the ladies you have been there for you right from the beginning of the planning (or even before the planning begun, in some cases).


One of the most common ways brides show appreciation is by giving gifts after the wedding planning – on the day of. These gifts could range from; cards to jewelry and to many other creative options. While this is great, I would also love to add that a bride can appreciate her bridesmaids not just after the wedding planning but during the planning itself; this can be very encouraging to those bridesmaids who may be feeling overwhelmed with having to juggle wedding duties and other areas of their life. Think of creative ways to say “Thank you for sticking with me through all these wedding projects, we have only xx days left to go!”

* * * * *

Like I said above, we may not be able to avoid every conflict in life, but we can certainly try by making the first move and doing what we can. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18


I hope all these points help you brides-to-be out there and if you were once a bride, I’d be happy to learn of methods you adopted in ensuring your wedding planning journey was conflict-free with your bridesmaids. Also bridesmaids-to-be, I’d love to hear from you; how would you love to be treated during the wedding planning? What would make you the perfect bridesmaid to your bride? Comment below!

Photo Credits: Cover photo by L&L Style Photography via SMP | Bridesmaids in monogrammed shirts on the bed, photo by Emily Blake via SMP | Bridesmaids in Champagne metallic mismatched dresses, photo by Joielala via 100 Layer Cake | Bridesmaids in Pretty Plum Sugar floral robes, photo by KT Merry | Bridesmaids with gifts (monogrammed rings), photo byJana Williams via Green Wedding Shoes | Bridesmaids praying for Bride, Source unknown.

About The Author

Wedding Blog Editor & Consultant

Gee || Jesus Lover || Wedding Blog Editor- KnotsVilla (Blog for theme-ful, Prop-ful, Color-ful & Culture-ful Weddings || Wedding Planning? I'd be the best e-friend you ever had!

2 Responses

  1. Katie Jenner

    Absolutely love this post about showing some bridesmaid appreciation! I think the point you make about being inclusive and letting your bridesmaids feel like they are contributing is really important. Otherwise you can clock out of the whole process. I think another point to include, is that often the bridesmaids won’t necessarily know each other, and although it isn’t your job to force grown women to get along, it is important to let everyone know they are valued and dear to you!


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